


Season of Mercy

by slash4femme



Series: Seasons of Mercy [1]
Category: Boruto, Naruto
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Cuddling & Snuggling, Family Drama, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kid Fic, Kissing, M/M, Mystery, Oral Sex, Politics, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-10-30 09:21:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10873839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slash4femme/pseuds/slash4femme
Summary: Metal is being plagued by nightmares. As what should be a normal part of childhood begins to take on sinister qualities, Gaara and Lee must move quickly in order to protect their family.





	1. Chapter 1

Gaara had been working in his office inside the Kazekage's residence when he heard the crying, the thin wail of a child.

He stood and slid his office door open. Not only was the crying coming from the hall where he's sons' rooms were located but he could feel Metal's chakra surging with fear. Yet Gaara could not feel any unfamiliar presences nor had their protection detail responded. That meant Metal had probably been woken by a nightmare.

Nevertheless Gaara quickened his step and met Lee coming from the direction of their bedroom.

Despite his quick, efficient movements Lee's eyes were still drooping with sleep, chest bare, hair sticking up at odd angles.

Gaara nodded to him, hand on the door to Metal's room. "I'll see to this, you go back to bed."

This wasn't the first time Metal had been woken by bad dreams, he'd been fussy as an infant and at four he still sometimes slept poorly.

Lee nodded stifling a yawn, "If you need my help, come get me."

Gaara just turned back towards the doorway. "Check on Shinki on your way back and make sure he wasn't been woken up by all this." He slid the door open and let himself into the darkened bedroom.

Metal was in bed, a tiny ball under the blanket, legs pulled up to his chest and arms wrapped around himself as he cried.

Gaara crossed the room to him and sat on the bed beside him. As soon as he did so Metal uncurled and all but flung himself into Gaara's arms. He was damp with tears and cold sweat, his nose running with the force of his crying but Gaara didn't hesitate to pull him into his lap and wrap his arms around him.

"Was it a dream?" He asked when Metal's frantic cries had turned to softer sobs.

Metal nodded with his face pressed to Gaara's chest, tears making a black stain against the dark red of his shirt.

Gaara rubbed one hand up and down Metal's back in a steady pattern that had soothed him since he'd been a baby.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Originally Gaara hadn't understood what good talking about nightmares would do. Talking sometimes seemed to help Metal though, as if Gaara could take on his fear instead of having Metal carry it alone. Tonight though Metal shook his head, no, face still pressed to Gaara's chest.

Gaara did not push, just sat, half propped against the hall at the head of the bed, Metal curled in his lap. Slowly Metal tears faded, until he was just sniffling weakly, hand balls in the fabric of Gaara's shirt.

"You are safe. No one will hurt you." Gaara stroked his back, brushed the hair back from his face.

Slowly Metal's breathing settled and his body relaxed as he drifted off to sleep again. Gaara waited a few more minutes to make sure Matel wasn't going to wake again immediately and then eased him off his lap back under the blanket.

He touched the tips of his fingers to Metal's face, still damp from his crying, then turned and left the room.

Lee was not, as a Gaara would have liked, asleep when he pushed open the door to their bedroom. Instead he was sitting on the edge of the bed looking tired but more away.

"Is Metal back asleep?"

Gaara nodded. "Did Shinki wake?"

"No, he slept through it this time." Lee stretched his arms over his head. "Did he have one of those dreams again?"

"Yes, but he didn't want to tell me about it." Gaara frowned at a Lee. "You should go back to sleep. It's early yet."

"Are you coming to bed?"

Gaara hesitated but the rest of the work he had to do could wait until tomorrow. He nodded, undid the buttons of his high collared shirt while Lee crawled back under the lightweight blanket.

Lee rolled on his side and Gaara slipped on a pair of loose linen pants and slid into bed beside him. He turned so Lee could curl against his back, one arm draped over his waist, a familiar, comforting weight.

At one point having anyone, let alone another shinobi, this close to his back, outside his line of sight would have been unthinkable. Now Lee's presence there was soothing, his breath fanning hot against the fine hair at the nape of Gaara's neck.

"Sakura said children his age often have nightmares." Lee said. "She said they do grow out of it with time."

Gaara nodded, he'd been told the same thing when he'd inquired about it with his aide, Hayate, who'd raised four children all now in their teen years.

"So we will wait, and comfort him when we can."

He felt rather than saw Lee nod then yawn, tucking his face more fully against the curve of Gaara's throat.

Gaara found the hand resting slightly on his stomach and covered with his own, tracing the scars across Lee's hand, up his wrist to his arm in a slow caress.

Lee hummed happily into his hair, snuggling closer against Gaara's back.

They lay holding each other and Gaara listened to Lee's breathing even out, become deeper with sleep.

Eventually, he too closed his eyes.

~~~

  
The crying woke Gaara from a dreamless sleep.

He sat up and climbed out from under the covers as Lee stirred behind him, coming awake and sitting up too.

"It's Metal." Gaara could feel his unsettled chakra pattern. "Another dream most likely. I'll see to it."

"Are you sure?" Lee rubbed his knuckles over his eyes. "You sat with him last night. I can do it."

"I don't need as much sleep as you do." Gaara pulled his shirt on and strode out of the room.

Metal was curled up again crying in great, frantic sobs. This time he'd curled himself up around his favorite stuffed turtle. He released his death grip on the turtle as soon as he saw Gaara holding up his arms even as his body shook.

Gaara picked him up and held him against his shoulder the way he'd done when Metal had been a baby. He rocked him back and forth, swaying slowly until Metal calmed.

The door slid open and Lee crossed the room to stand beside Gaara, placing one hand gentle on Metal's back.

Metal lifted his head from Gaara's shoulder and wiggled around until he could hold his arms out to Lee. Gaara released him into Lee's waiting arms.

"Did you have a bad dream little one?" Lee asked.

"Yes." Metal's small voice was a whisper half muffled from where he'd tucked his head under Lee's chin. "I was scared."

From the next room Gaara felt the stirring of another familiar chakra pattern. He touched Metal's head one last time and turned towards the door leaving Lee to put Metal back to bed.

Shinki was sitting up in bed, scrubbing at his eyes with one small fist when Gaara pushed the door to his bedroom open.

"Papa?" He blinked up at him as Gaara crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "Is there something wrong?"

"Your brother had a nightmare." Gaara reached out to touch the top of Shinki's head, dark brown and a little course where Metal's hair was as black as Lee's and very fine. "But he's all right. You're father is with him now."

Shinki nodded and curled back up under his blanket. He also had a stuffed turtled that he held close to his chest.

"Will you stay with me until I go back to sleep?"

"Yes."

Shinki settled more comfortable under his blankets, for several moment he was silent and then he looked up at Gaara again. "Metal said there was a monster. And that it would creep in through the crack under the window when he's sleeping."

"Your brother has nightmares, that scare him sometimes." Gaara said carefully, watching Shinki's face. Shinki nodded but his hands also closed tighter on the cloth of his stuffed turtle.

"But if there were monster's you'd protect us right? You'd make them go away?"

"I will always protect you and your brother." Gaara let his hand rest on the top of Shinki's head again. "As will your father."

That seemed to satisfy Shinki who pressed himself closer to Gaara and shut his eyes.

Gaara waited until Shinki had gone back to sleep before meeting Lee in the hall outside the children's rooms.

"Is Metal back asleep?" He asked keeping his voice low and Lee nodded, but his large eyebrows were drawn together in a concerned frown.

The hall wasn't a good place for a conversation, especially with two sleeping children they'd just put down. Gaara lead the way to their bedroom, where Lee folded himself into a half lotus position, seated on the bed.

"This is the second night in a row Gaara, and there were three nights last week."

"I know." Gaara rubbed his hand across his own eyes. "Shinki said Metal had told him there was a monster that crawled through the crack under the window at night."

"Do you think that is what these dreams are about?"

"I don't know, but if there was really something here our security detail should have caught it, or I would have sensed it."

"I am sure it is just nightmares." Lee reached out for him and Gaara let himself be pulled down beside Lee.

"I agreed but I'll speak with Captain Nakano about it tomorrow anyway."

"I would like to be there as well. Although I am sure it is nothing serious." Lee kissed him on the cheek. "It will be all right."

Gaara hoped Lee was right although he reserved his own judgement on the situation for when they had more information.

"I'm going to work in my study."

"You're not coming back to bed?"

"I don't think I will be able to sleep again tonight."

Lee frowned a little but he didn't try to argue Gaara back to bed.

That in its own way made Gaara turn back from the door. He crossed back over to the bed and bent, very slowly pressed his lips to Lee's in a small kiss.

"I would rather not sleep without you." Lee said when they parted.

He did not say, again, but he didn't need to.

Their gazes met, then Gaara nodded and straightened back up. "Then come with me and I will make us both tea."

Lee climbed off the bed and pull on a shirt, before taking Gaara's hand in his own, warm, calloused fingers closing loosely around his own. Gaara felt himself relax a little into the touch.

In his personal office, Gaara sat behind his desk while Lee settled into a full lotus position on the floor by the window, eyes closed, breath even.

The room was quiet except for the sounds of the water as it heated for their tea and the soft shuffle of papers.

Even when he turned his attention to the stack of mission reports on his desk Gaara could still feel Lee's presence in the room.

Warm, solid and calm.

 _Your presence centers me,_ Gaara had told him once, years ago now. _It is like I have gained a piece of myself that I did not know was missing when you are here. I do not know what it is but I want you to remain with me._

And Lee had.

Gaara let his gaze rise from the papers to look at Lee, trace the breadth and power of him, in his shoulders, his chest, his arms. His hands and forearms, where Lee usually wore wrappings, were heavily scarred from years of injuries and breaks. There were more serious scars marking his left arm, wide, shiny red patches and jagged, raised tears, after all these years. Gaara knew where matching scars on his left leg as well. Lee had scars all over his body some from battle, some from pushing himself to his limit and then past it, over and over again. Like the way swords were forged, until he had become the perfect shinobi weapon.

His patient, gentle Lee.

There were only a very few scars on Lee's face, fine weight lines along his jaw, and above one eyebrow.

Gaara liked to touch all Lee's scars, traces his fingers across them and remind himself that Lee was still alive, still here.

He liked to trace the shape of Lee's face too, touch the fine, high curves of his cheekbones and wide, dark eyebrows that were very soft against Gaara's fingers and lips.

Lee's eyes blinked open and he smiled at Gaara. "What are you thinking about?"

"You." Gaara said and was completely unsurprised when Lee unfolded himself, crawled across the space between them and kissed him.

Kissing always had, and probably always would, mean something special to Lee. Although it didn't mean as much to Gaara, he certainly did not mind the warm, soft press of Lee's lip against his own, loved the way Lee's hands always came up to cup his face.

His own fingers threaded through Lee's hair, drifted down to caress his chin and the line of his jaw.

"I love you." Lee said when they drew apart.

Gaara pressed the palm of his hand against Lee's chest, over where he could feel Lee's heart beat, and Lee covered it with his own.

"I need to make the tea." Gaara gentle freed his hand and stood.

He went to fetch the cups, teapot and other things he'd need, knowing when he returned Lee would still be there, waiting.

~~~

  
Captain Nakano, head of the Kazekage's personal protection detail, was a hard faced woman, hair just starting to be touched by grey at the temples. She'd been a shinobi for longer than Lee or Gaara had been alive, and wore face paint and a vale in the most traditional Sunagakure style.

Gaara personally liked her and more importantly trusted her completely with the safety of his family, particularly his children.

"Kazekage-sama, Lee-san." She saluted both him and Lee crisply as she entered his official office.

"Metal has been having an unusual number of distressing dreams." Gaara told her bluntly. "And he informed Shinki that the dreams are caused by a monster crawls through the crack under his bedroom window at night."

To her credit Captain Nakano didn't even blink. "How long have these dreams been going on?"

"About two weeks." Lee said.

"Well my team hasn't reported any disturbances around the Kazekage's residence during that time. Nothing as tripped any of our wards or shown up on our surveillance footage. I patrol the perimeter myself at least once every night and haven't noticed anything. But we will of course double check the footage and the wards and do a full sweep of the residence by tonight."

Gaara nodded. "Good and thank you."

She saluted him again and let herself out.

Lee sighed. "It was probably just a dream."

Gaara nodded, he agreed with Lee but it was better to be cautious where the safety of his family was concerned.

"I will see you tonight." Lee turned towards the door as well as Gaara pulled a pile of papers towards him.

"I have a meeting tonight with Kankurou and his team, who will be arriving from the Land of Water, but I have arranged my schedule so I will be able to pick up the children with you and we can all have dinner together."

"Oh excellent!"

Gaara looked up to find Lee beaming at him. His schedule was generally too busy for him to pick up their children from daycare so Lee went alone except when Lee was out on a mission, then a member of their protection took over that duty.

Gaara gave him a small smile and Lee returned it with a salute the formality of which was slightly ruined by Lee's wide grin.

~~~

  
Gaara met Lee a block away from the schoolhouse where Suna's daycare for the children of active duty shinobi was. They walked the last block side by side.

There was other parents clustered around the gate, picking up their younger children some with older school children in tow as well.

Inside the gates children chased each other across the courtyard or stood together in groups.

Quite a few of the adults saluted Gaara as he and Lee walked up, even though neither him nor they were on duty. He acknowledged each of them with a polite nodded before turning towards the courtyard to locate his own children.

He spotted Shinki almost at once sitting on a swing being pushed by a slightly older girl. The swing was a little too big and high for him, but he held onto the chains tightly as he as he swung gently back and forth.

"Shinki!" Lee called pitching his voice to cut above the other adults with his usual easy cheer.

Shinki looked over eyes lighting as he caught sight of them standing just inside the gate. "Daddy! Papa!"

He scrambled off the swing, half falling in his haste. Righting himself he ran over to them and Lee scooped him up into a bear hug.

"Daddy." Shinki wiggled against the rough cloth of Lee's flak jacket. "Don't pick me up, I'm not a little kid anymore."

"I am sorry Shinki." Lee put him down immediately looking chastened.

"Shinki where is your brother?" Gaara scanned the courtyard again.

"With Etsuko-sensei." Shinki said holding one Lee's hands with both of his smaller ones.

Gaara searched the courtyard again this time looking for Etsuko-sensei as well as Metal and spotted both of them just coming out of the school building.

The three of them crossed the courtyard to where Metal and Etsuko-sensei were standing.

"Kazekage-sama, Lee-san." Etsuko-sensei bowed slightly to each of them. "May I have a word before you leave?"

Gaara looked at Lee who nodded.

"Of course."

"Can you take your bother and go play by the swings while your Papa and I talk to Etsuko-sensei?" Lee turned to Shinki who with some reluctance let go of Lee's hand to take his brother's hand instead.

Gaara watched Shinki lead Metal back over to the swings and sent a discrete signal to shinobi who'd been tailing them at a polite distance to watch over the children, then followed Etsuko-sensei into the school.

"I wanted to talk to you both about Metal." She said when all three of them were seated in her office.

"Metal?" Lee and Gaara exchanged a concerned glance. "Is something wrong?"

Etsuko-sensei hesitated for a moment. "Metal has always been shy. Both of your boys are quiet and Shinki tends to be very serious child but he can make friends when he wants to. Metal struggles a little bit more with that. But I've found that he's usually willing to tell me stories or participate in activities with a little bit of coaxing. And he's the first one to volunteer to help out around the classroom, putting away the toys or setting up for snack time." Etsuko-sensei smiled briefly, then her expression became serious. "But over the past few weeks he had become more and more withdraw. And for the last two days he's refused to engage with anyone at all. He seems to only want to sit alone and he's begun talking to himself as well."

Gaara stiffened but Etsuko-sensei held up one hand.

"That is not in and of itself strange for children his age. When children are young they don't really understand how to internalize their thoughts so their inner monologues and streams of consciousness become outer ones, so to speak. But that, along with his other changes in behavior, concerns me. That's why I wanted to speak with both of you. "

"Thank you Sensei for telling us this." Lee said.

"Excuse me for asking, but as Metal been having a hard time at home? And changes in routine?"

"He's been having trouble sleeping." Gaara said. "He's been waking up with nightmares and has a difficult time going to sleep."

Etsuko-sensei nodded. "It may just be that he's exhausted then. In my experience children can sometimes act out if they're not getting enough sleep. If it continues you should ask one of the medical nin to prescribe him something very gentle to help him sleep."

"Let us know if this kind of behavior continues" Gaara touched Lee's arm and then rose.

"Of course Kazekage-sama, Lee-san and I hope Metal feels better soon." She rose as well and bowed them back out of her office.

Shinki was pushing Metal on the swing when they came back outside.

Most of the other children and their parents had left and Lee went over to them at once to pick Metal up and take Shinki's hand.

Both Gaara and Lee were quiet on the walk home, although Shinki distracted them by talking about the game the class had played with different patterned blocks. The children had been put into groups of three and had to work together sorting the blocks into groups of patching patterns.

The exercise was pre-Academy training although Shinki didn't realize it.

"Aya wanted to do it all herself." Shinki told them. "But I said we needed to take turns and then Gorou tried to put three blocks in his mouth at the same time." Shinki grimaced at the memory. "And then Sensei scolded him and made him wash the spit off. He said they tasted funny, like wood. And I said of course they do, they're made of wood." Shinki said folding his arms over his chest, tone uncannily like Temari's for moment.

"I am glad you are working hard and getting along with your classmates!" Lee reached down to ruffling Shinki's hair before shifting his gaze to Metal. "Did you play with the blocks today, like your brother did?"

Metal didn't answer, just rested his head against Lee's shoulder and shut his eyes.

Gaara watched him hoping Etsuko-sensei was right and Metal was simply exhausted by having his sleep schedule repeatedly interrupted over the last few weeks.

They ate a cold dinner once they got back to the Kazekage's residence. Gaara kept track of the time since he still had a mission debriefing to preside over.

"Will you be all right, putting the children to bed?" He asked Lee as they washed up the dishes from dinner.

"I will be fine." Lee smiled at him. "Tell Kankurou welcome back for me."

Gaara gave him a searching look but when Lee's smile became a bit wider and more determined, accompanied by a sudsy thumbs up, Gaara nodded and left to go return to his office.

The meeting with Kankurou and his team took longer than Gaara had expected and after they'd left Captain Nakano had reported to him that she had found no abnormalities with their security over the last two weeks.  
  
By the time Gaara returned to the Residence he was expecting to find it dark and everyone in bed, Instead there were still lights on in the main living area and when Gaara slid open the door he found Lee and Metal, both dressed for bed, with Metal seated in Lee's lap holding his stuffed turtle to his chest. There was a small stack of children's books beside Lee's knee.

"You two are up late."

Lee gave him a pained, this is not my fault, look.

"I read them both a story and Shinki went to sleep fine but Metal has been having a little more trouble."

Gaara knelt down in front of both of them. "What's the matter?"

"I don't want to go." Metal looked up at him with big dark eyes. "I don't want to go to sleep Papa!"

"You have to sleep." Gaara said.

"No." Metal's eyes began filling with tears. "No, Papa. I don't want to. I can't. The monster will get me."

Lee made a distressed noise, pulling Metal closer against him. "Nothing will get you Metal, your papa and I will always protect you."

"I don't want to. Please, I don't want to go to sleep." Metal clung to him tightly back.

Gaara and Lee looked at each other over the top of Metal's head.

"I will speak with a medical nin tomorrow." Gaara said.

"Could he spend the night with us?"

"I think that would be best." Gaara stood. After letting Metal pick out a picture book to take with him, Lee followed carrying Metal in his arms.

Once in their bedroom Gaara collected his night clothes and went to change in the bathroom while Lee settled Metal onto the bed.

"I don't want to sleep."

Gaara could hear his high little voice even through the closed door.

"Well if you want to stay awake then you need to be here with us." Lee said and Gaara resigned himself to another night without sleep.

He came back into the bedroom, climbed into bed next to Lee with Metal settled between them and picked up a book he'd been reading, a political and military history of the Land of Iron.

Lee had picked up a book too, Gai-sensei's latest in fact, although Gaara couldn't image it included any advice or anecdotes Lee hadn't heard at least a hundred times before.

Between them Metal flipped through the pages of the Nin and the Very Clever Fox.

Gaara flicked the pages, all three of them quiet and absorbed in their reading. Beside him he could feel Metal relaxing, his breathing steady, his chakra calm.

The Land of Iron was an interesting case study, Gaara let himself become engrossed in the complexities of its political history.

Metal's book fell closed in his lap and his body sagged sideway onto the pillows.

His own book still propped open, Lee reached out an arm and eased Metal down to lay more comfortably and tucked the blanket over him.

They read in silence for a few more minutes and then Lee closed Gai-sensei book and sat back with the blissful, satisfied sigh of a man who'd been faced with a delicious feast and eaten his fill.

In fact Lee himself had called Gai's fourth book a Feast of Wisdom if Gaara remembered correctly. Although Gaara had found it to be a lot like talking to Gai-sensei: he had no doubt the taijutsu was solid but the rest tended to confuse him.

Lee cuddled deeper under the blanket and carefully placed his arm across his Metal's body.

Gaara finished off his chapter and then set the book aside, extinguished the lights and lay down as well. Maybe the three of them would get to sleep through the night after all.

It felt as if he'd closed his eyes when he heard the screaming.

A high and terrified sound that was almost inhuman in its intensity. The sound of a dying animal caught in a trap, only made in the last few moments of life.

It was a sound he'd not heard in a very long time.

He was up, on his feet before he was even fully aware of it, hand outstretched as the sand surged in a wave into the room to form a wall around the bed.

Lee had reacted instantly too, exploding up out of the blankets to shield Metal's much smaller body with his own.

In the next moment Gaara realized that the screaming had broken off into choked sobs coming from underneath Lee.

Slowly he lowered his arm, the sand wall sinking down with it.

"Metal." He dropped to his knees onto the bed.

"It hurts." Metal's voice was almost unrecognizable through the force of his crying. "It hurts."

Lee reversed directions with lightening speed, rolling off Metal and pushing himself up to kneel on his other side.

"It hurts." Metal face was splotched red, tears streaming from his eyes.

Gaara reached out but dropped his hand before he touched Metal, unsure where Metal was hurt or what to do.

"Where does it hurt?" Lee said urgently. Gaara could see him running through a battlefield injury evaluation in his head, cataloging Metal's body for wounds without touching him and potentially making it worse.

Metal rolled onto his side, crying harder, arms and legs curls in on himself. "It hurts, Daddy, it hurts."

From down the hall Shinki was also crying.

Gaara met Lee's gaze. "Handle this." He pushed himself up and stepped across sand with wooden shards embedded in it that had once been their bedroom door.

He'd made it as far as the hall when shinobi began materializing inside the Residence.

"Kazekage-sama!" A young man rushed towards him.

"You're late." Gaara snapped at him and brushed by the two other shinobi who'd been following, to enter Shinki's room.

Sand still lay in small swirling heaps around Shinki's bed as well and Gaara cleared it away with a tiny gesture of his hand.

"Papa, what was that noise?" Shinki cried as soon as he saw Gaara.

"Your brother had another dream." Gaara scooped Shinki up into his arms.

"Is he all right?" Shinki stared up at him with wide tear filled eyes.

"He's frightened." Gaara stroked his back as the tear in Shinki's eyes spilled over.

"I want to see him!" Shinki wailed.

Gaara hesitated, afraid that seeing Metal in such a state would only scare Shinki more but he didn't really want to stay away from Metal and Lee any longer than absolutely necessarily either.

His instincts were still screaming at him to get his entire family in one place where he could, more easily protect them.

He turned, still carrying Shinki and headed back down the hall.

Metal was still crying, Lee's voice a low rumble talking to someone. Gaara stepped back over the remains of the door to see Lee was still kneeling on the bed next to Metal, now talking to a young shinobi in a medical nin uniform.

"Metal!" Shinki began twisting and flailing in Gaara's arms until Gaara let him down onto the bed.

He scrambled across the blankets to hug his brother tightly. "Are you okay?"

"Physically and mentally he seems unharmed." The medical nin was saying. "Very scared obviously but I can't find anything wrong with him."

Metal's crying was quieting as he slowly calmed down under his brother's worried gaze.

Gaara put his hand on Lee's shoulder and drew him aside.

"I don't think Metal should go to school tomorrow." He said keeping his voice low, Lee nodded.

"I agree."

"But I also have meetings I can't cancel and there are the plans for the new aqueducts I must attend to." Leaving either of his children was the last thing Gaara felt like doing at the moment but his duties came first even in the face of family troubles.

"I too have a meeting about that joint Suna-Konoha mission." Lee didn't sound any more pleased than Gaara felt. "And it cannot be canceled either. We are already behind schedule due to the sandstorm two weeks ago."

"How long do you think it will be?"

"An hour maybe two. I will make sure it does not go longer than that."

"Understood. I'll assign one of the shinobi from our detail to watch him while you are gone. One of the ones he knows." And a more senior one than the ninja that had been on shift tonight.

Gaara turned back towards the bed, throwing the cluster still milling about in the hall an unfavorable look in passing. He would have words for them tomorrow about how slowly they'd responded to the possible emergency, he simply didn't have the energy to do it tonight.

The shinobi finally departed and Gaara removed the lingering sand from the Residence floors, while Lee swept up the pieces of door.

They ended up all four of them in Lee and Gaara's bed. Metal and Shinki curled together, drifting in and out of fitful sleep, while neither Gaara nor Lee slept at all.

Gaara's body was still too keyed up from the instinctive need to protect those most precious to him from a physical attack he intellectually knew wouldn't come. Gaara always strove to face situations as calmly and rationally as possible, but it was difficult where the safety of his family was concerned.

From the way Lee sat, back stiff, hands clenching ever so slightly where they rested on his thighs, he was feeling the same way.

Gaara sat and ran through meditation exercises in his head until his heartbeat lowered, the panic ebbing away.

At some point Gaara reached out, around their dozing children, and took Lee's hand in his own, braided their fingers together and held on tight as they waited for the dawn.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: for a child trying to self-harm (but not succeeding)

Gaara stared up at the cloudless sky above Suna.

He'd waited as long as he could to leave this morning, staying curled in bed with Lee, Metal and Shinki much longer than he ordinarily would.

The only thing that had made him get up at all was the early morning meet he'd had scheduled to talk about the next phase of planning for the waterway system. The new waterways would be replacing some of the oldest wells in the city that tended to go unpredictably dry leaving whole districts without clean water. Given that it was vital that the project move forward as soon as possible.

So Gaara dressed, kissed Lee and the boys goodbye and left to spend the rest of of the day seeing to his duties as Kazekage.

Now he stood on one of the high sandstone cliffs that encircled Suna, watching the construction work starting on the first phase of the waterways.

"Hey bro."

Gaara turned to see Kankurou land a few feet away from him.

"The project going as planned?"

"Yes." Gaara turned his gaze back to the desert and the work crews excavating, guarded by squads of shinobi.

He could feel Kankurou watching him.

"You all right? Don't take this the wrong way but you don't look like you've been getting enough sleep."

Gaara slid his gaze back to his brother who gave him a palms up "what can I tell you" gesture.  
  
"Metal hadn't been sleeping well." He said. "He's been having nightmares."

"Nightmares? Poor kids. Still I guess it's not unusual at his age." Kankurou rubbed the back of his neck. "Still if it's been going on long enough for you to look like that it must be pretty bad."

"Yes." Gaara's gaze moved back to the sky above their heads. Perfect, uninterrupted blue, without a speck of cloud.

"How bad?" Kankurou's voice had lost its casual tone.

Gaara didn't answer for a long moment.

"Gaara, how bad?"

"He wakes up screaming. He says there is a monster in his head and that it hurts him and he's been talking to himself." Gaara looked back down to meet Kankurou's gaze and saw, reflected in there, the fear that had been unfurling inside his own chest over these last few days, growing steadily stronger.

"I don't think I can trust my judgement on this." He said."I don't know if my sense of danger is justified or if it is because —"

"Because it reminds you of the way you used to be." Kankurou swallowed hard and looked away. "I don't think I'm a good judge of that either."

They were both silent for a moment.

"How's Lee holding up?"

"He's afraid." Gaara said and then spun as a shinobi materialized right behind them.

"Kazekage-sama, Kankurou-sama! An emergency call has just been sent up from one of the members of the protection detail at the Kazekage's residence!"

"Who?" Gaara was already gathering the sand around himself.

"The shinobi assigned to watch Metal-kun, he didn't signal they were under attack just that it was an emergency."

Gaara didn't bother climbing down, just went straight off the edge of the cliff, relying on his shinobi reflexes and the sand to break his fall. He could sense Kankurou right behind him.

"What about Shinki?" Kankurou asked as they moved.

"They've locked down the daycare, for the protection of Shinki-kun as well as all the other children."

Gaara ran, not waiting to see if the other two would follow although he could feel Kankurou keeping pace with him.

They were almost there when Lee streaked by them, heading towards the Residence as well.

"Where are they?" Gaara called as soon as he was within earshot of the guard at the front entrance.

"Around back in the garden Kazekage-sama." The guard called and Gaara nodded without breaking his stride.

The courtyard behind the Kazekage's residence had been unused until Gaara had come to live at the Residence. He'd built a rock and cactus garden there and it had become one of the children's favorite places to play.

Lee was already there when Gaara and Kankurou came through the doorway. He was kneeling on the ground holding Metal while a medic nin looked Metal over.

It gave Gaara a strange prickling sensation along his spine at how reminiscent the scene was of the night before.

"What happened?" He stepped towards the shinobi he'd assigned to watch over Metal.

"I ..." The man's face was pale, eyes wide.

Gaara's own eyes narrowed. The man was a veteran as well as having children of his own. He should not be this shaken.

"You better start giving the Kazekage your report, soldier." Kankurou growled from behind Gaara.

That seemed to snap the shinobi out of it. "Yes sir." He saluted. "My apologizes. Metal-kun had been very quiet and listless ever since Lee-san left but he seemed to cheer up when I suggested playing in the garden with his set of wooden turtle puppets. We came out here and he was playing quietly, or at least I thought, and then he just ... he picked up a rock and tried to smash it into his face."

Gaara stared at him. "What?" For one of the few times in his life he was completely lost for words or a way to make sense of it. It seemed like everything was coming rushing at him from a very long tunnel, too much, too fast. He just needed it all to stop for a moment so he could collect himself and think.

Beside him he heard Kankurou hiss in shock.

"I stopped him of course." The shinobi was saying. "But he's intent was pretty clear."

Gaara's gaze sought out Lee who was still kneeling, arms around Metal, face pale as well.

"Metal?" Lee turned to him. "Did you try to hurt yourself, little one?"

Metal stared up at him, eyes far too flat and vacant. In the circle of Lee's arms his body was pliant but listless.

"I needed to make it stop." He raised his hand to touch his forehead. "The voice in my head, I wanted it to stop."

There was a long appalled silence.

"Lee." Gaara said urgently. "I need to speak to you in my office now. Kankurou stay with Metal, do not take your eyes off him."

"I understand." Kankurou sounded grim.

Gaara barely waited for Lee to stand before grabbing him by the wrist and half dragging him back into the Residence.

He waited until the door had close behind him before letting his become uneven.

The voice in my head, I wanted it to stop.  
  
"Gaara?"

It hurts! Daddy, it hurts!

He needed to think clearly. If it would just stop he'd be able to think clearly.

I don't want to sleep, the monster will get me.

He had to think!

It hurts!

"Gaara!" Lee's hand, large, warm and real, landed on his back and Gaara realized he'd been staring fixedly at the wall without blinking.

"I think Metal is under attack from some sort of jutsu." He said.

Lee's eyes widened, then narrowed and he nodded. "I have heard of jutsus that prey upon the mind, but never like this. Have you seen anything like this before?"

"No, this particular one I have never encountered, but nothing else makes sense. Metal's symptoms are too like what I experienced as a child. I don't believe in coincidences like that. Also in general, people do not lose their minds over the course of a few days, it's a gradual process, a chipping away at one's self. Ninjutsu or genjutsu is far more likely."

"We will need to find a specialist. Someone with knowledge and experience of ninjutsu and genjutsu that takes over the mind." Lee said.

"And we will need to search the village, discretely, the one who did this may not have gone far." Particularly if he or she needed to remain physically close to their victim to maintain the jutsu with their own chakra. Gaara turned towards the door. "We need to speak with Kankurou."

They found Kankurou still in the garden, couched down by Metal, trying to interest him in play without one of his turtle puppets.

"Watch and I'll make the little guy's legs move with my chakra strings." Kankurou was saying to Metal whose eyes were still far too blank and empty. "I can even make him do a little dance."

Despite the lightness of Kankurou's tone, Gaara could see the way his body was tense, ready to spring into action at the mere hint of danger.

"Kankurou."

Kankurou looked up at him.

"Lee will watch Metal now. I need to speak with you." Gaara said.

Kankurou nodded, brushing dust from his pant legs as he stood.

"I think Metal is under the control of a jutsu of some sort." Gaara said when they were back in his office inside the Residence.

"That would make sense, but we should also consider the possibility of it being a poison, or a combination attack of poison and jutsu."

It hadn't been something Gaara had considered but Kankurou was right, it could be an option they shouldn't overlook.

"Either way we'll probably need a medical nin with far more power and knowledgeable than anyone we currently have in Suna."

"I'll write to the Hokage of the Leaf asking for assistance."

Kankurou nodded.

"I want you to be in charge of the investigation into this. Find out who's done this."

"Oh I will."

"Quietly." Gaara sat at his desk and steepled his fingers together. "Whoever is behind this shouldn't know that we are coming. Use the smallest team you can and make sure the shinobi who already know don't talk about this to others."

"Of course." Kankurou said. "I hate to think of any of our own shinobi betraying us, particularly like this. But it's happened before and chances are whoever did this didn't acted alone."

"When you find them bring them to me." Gaara knew his face had become even more expressionless than usual but he didn't have the luxury of feeling at the moment. He needed to act.

"Right." Kankurou pushed open the door as Gaara stood.

He needed to go to his official office so he could send an encoded, top secret, message to the Hokage.

Lee was in the garden, holding Metal on his lap. Gaara laid a hand on Lee's shoulder, feeling how tense Lee's muscles were under the ways of uniform.

"I need to go to my office." He said keeping his voice low so the conversation could remain between them. "I will write to Hokage-sama requesting any help Konoha can offer us. I have assigned Kankurou to investigate the situation. In the meantime please stay with Metal and keep him safe."

"Of course." Lee's arms tightened around Metal.

"If you need support I give you full authority to choose whatever shinobi you wish." Gaara locked his gaze on Lee so that he'd understand that Gaara did mean anyone and that it was coming not from his husband but the Kazekage.

"Understood." Lee's back straightened as he took on the posture of a shinobi receiving a mission briefing.

Gaara nodded and continued on toward his office in Suna's Wind Building.

There was a computer on the desk in his office. Gaara was still not a hundred percent sure he trusted that the encryption for emails was as secure as the top level, security seals placed on scrolls. But even using the fastest hawk available it would still take a scroll hours to get from Suna to Konoha while an email would take seconds.  
  
He'd just finished sending the message off when there was a knock at the door.

"Kazekage-sama." his personal aide, Hayate, let himself in and bowed to Gaara. "I tried to do what you ordered and find Suna's expert on genjutsu and mind manipulating ninjutsu but she's away on an A rank mission. My apologize."

Gaara's fingers clenched into fists but he controlled his rising anger. It served no purpose here.  
"How long is it until she is expected to return."

"Another two weeks at least and that's if the mission goes according to plan."

Gaara took a breath. "I understand. Thank you for informing me."

Hayate bowed his way back out, nearly colliding with an out of breath shinobi.

"Kazekage-same, Lee-san says to inform you he has taken Metal-kun to the hospital."

Gaara pushed himself up and head for the door.

Lee was waiting for him in the hospital hall outside Metal's room.

"What happened?" Gaara said.

"He collapsed. I brought him straight here, but he hasn't woken up since. The doctors and medical nin don't know what to do."

Gaara stepped around Lee and pushed the door open.

Metal was a tiny form against the white hospital sheets, motionless and far too pale, black hair fanned out across the pillow.

This could be a sign that the jutsu was worsening or reaching the end of whatever it had been created to do.

If the end was death ...

Gaara reached forward and brushed the hair back from Metal's forehead.

The door opened behind him and Lee's familiar step crossed the room, his hands settled against Gaara's shoulders.

"We will not give up." His breath was warm where it brushed the side of Gaara's face. "We will fight this."

"Yes." Gaara was surprised by how cold his own voice sounded, gone brittle and hard. "We will fight."

The door opened again. "I came as soon as I heard." Kankurou said.

Gaara hadn't taken his eyes off of Metal's form. "There is nothing any of us can do here."

"But we have a to try to do something." Kankurou came to stand on the other side of the bed, also looking down at Metal.

"Any attempt to counter using ninjutsu would be dangerous and pointless without first knowing what we are dealing with." It was the first thing any ninja learned at the Academy in fact. Ninjutsu as a method of countering another ninjutsu or genjutsu attack only worked if you could understand and identify the kind of attack you were going up against. It became too easy to hurt yourself or an alley by mistake.

"If it's a genjutsu we could try one of the basic methods for countering." Kankurou suggested.

The two methods for resisting genjutsu was to temporarily block chakra flow or otherwise disrupt it, or administer enough pain to snap the victim out of the illusion.

All three of them stared down at the small form on the bed.

Metal was young enough, his body so tiny that administering chakra from the outside into his system could very well be dangerous. At worst they could risk doing the same kind of internal damage as Hyūga clan's Gentle Fist technique.

Still Gaara' control of his chakra was significant after years of manipulating the sand. He reached his hand forward towards Metal again.

Lee's hand came out, strong fingers wrapping around Gaara's wrist. "Wait."

Gaara stopped looking up at him.

"I have an idea that might be safer." Lee said. "There is a way to target chakra pressure points on the body without pushing your own chakra into your opponent's body. It is a very difficult taijutsu technique that requires striking your opponent with great force and accuracy at the points of the body where the chakra pathways are closest to surface and thus most vulnerable to attacks to the outside of the body. In fact there is a very rare taijutsu style that utilizes this technique using senbon and quick, precise strikes."

Kankurou silently mouthing the words "striking your opponent with great force."

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "How is this safe if it involves striking your opponent?"

Lee held up one hand. "That is if you are fighting fully grown sinobi. In that case it is very difficult. Metal is a child, his chakra pathways, like the rest of his body, are not fully developed and therefore not as well protected. It shouldn't require anything close to a strike to disrupt the chakra flow to his brain and nervous system. It would be more of a tap, pressure applied very specifically."

"You make it sound easy." Kankurou said.

"I can assure you Kankurou it is not easy, but I have studied this technique extensive and I think I can do it." Lee met Gaara's gaze.

"Yes." Gaara said. "I trust you."

Lee nodded and then moved to lean over Metal. For a moment he just looked down at his son. Then he brought his right hand up in front of his face, in a two fingered striking pose. Lee closed his eyes, his face a mask of concentration and this arm snapped out and around jabbing at a spot right the base of Metal's skull behind his right ear.

Gaara couldn't detect any changes in Metal's still form but Lee straightened back up looking satisfied.

"All right, that should be enough."

"Are you sure?" Kankurou said.

"Yes. I am certain, the strike disrupted his chakra flow to his brain and nervous system." Lee frowned down at Metal's form. "But it is not working."

"Maybe it wasn't enough of a disruption."

"Or it is not a genjutsu." Gaara folded his arms over his chest.

"We will try again." Lee put his arm around Gaara's shoulders and pulled him close to Lee's side. "We will come up with something else, something that will work."

"I need to go." Kankurou turned with obvious reluctance. "I will let you know once I have something to report."

Gaara nodded, dismissing Kankurou back to his work. He should get back to work tool, but he didn't move. Instead he stayed pressed against Lee's side, soaking in the feel of Lee's arm around him, Lee's body against his own.

To be loved and needed and to become someone better through giving that to others. That was all Gaara had wanted for so long.

When he'd finally had that he couldn't imagine wanting more.

 _Having children_ , Temari had told him a long time ago now. _It's how your family grows._

Suddenly Gaara had wanted that, wanted to see his family grow like a cactus garden under the desert sun.

A new way of loving, this time with Lee at his side.

He found Lee's hand, still around his shoulder, and braided their fingers together, holding on tight.

"I need to go pick up Shinki." Lee said, voice soft, face pressed against side of Gaara's head, against his hair.

"I can do it." Gaara straightened but couldn't bring himself to pull away fully. "You stay here and watch over Metal."

Lee turned him so he could look at Gaara fully and brought his hands up to cup Gaara's face, tracing across the curve of Gaara's cheeks with his thumbs.

He did not say it would be all right. Even though Gaara desperately wanted to hear it. He just needed forward and pressed their foreheads together, so close they breathed the same air.

There was a knock on the door. Gaara and Lee stepped apart as it was pushed open by a young looking medical nin.

"Kazekage-sama, Hayate-san says to tell you that you have a message from the Hokage of the Leaf."

"Thank you." Gaara said then turned back to look at Lee.

Lee have him a small smile and put his hand on Gaara's shoulder. "Go, be Kazekage. I will pick up Shinki and then come back here."

"All right."

The last thing Gaara wanted to do was leave that room, watching over Metal with Lee's presents at his side, but he turned and went back to his office in the Wind Building.

The message from Kakashi assured Gaara and Lee of his personal support as well as the Hokage's support of the Kazekage in the face of this personal attack.

He'd dispatched the shinobi Gaara had requested with all hasted and promised the aid of any other Konoha shinobi who were not current away on other missions.

Gaara wrote a reply thanking him then swiveled his chair to look out his office windows.

Even running hard it would take the Leaf team three days to get to Suna. It felt like too long a time to Gaara.

Last time he and Kakashi had met face to face they'd discussed the possibility of building a railway corridor that would link Konoha with Suna. Konoha would shortly be getting their own localized railway system but Suna still did not have one and waterways project was tying up all their resources for the foreseeable future. Still such a railroad could potentially cut travel between their village down to almost a fourth of the time it now took.

Gaara made a mental note to revisit the idea with Kakashi at the earliest possible opportunity.

There was paperwork he still had not gotten to with the day's emergencies now piled on his desk. He sent off orders to have extra shinobi squads moved to vulnerable locations along the border and assigned an ANBU unit to work in secret directly under the directions of Kankurou.

Then he called Hayate back into his office.

"Tell me where Shinki is."

Hayate nodded and put his hand up to his wireless radio headset. "He's at the Residence sir."

"And is Lee still at the hospital?"

"Yes."

Gaara stood. "Kankurou has orders to report to me directly but inform me if there are any messages or reports from any of the teams I just reassigned or from Konoha."

"Of course." Hayate bowed and stood aside to let Gaara exist the office.

As soon as Gaara pushed open the door to the Kazekage residence he could hear small feet running across the floor.

"Papa!" Shinki ran to him and wrapped himself around Gaara's legs, holding onto his coat with both hands.

Gaara knelt to bring himself closer to Shinki's eye level and reached out to run his hand across the top of Shinki's head.

"Daddy said Metal was in the hospital." Shinki's eyes were wide and frightened. He bite his lip, staring up at Gaara as if willing him to say it wasn't true.

"Unfortunately yes. Your brother is very sick, but we are all going to work hard to make sure he gets well soon. Meanwhile you must be brave and stay with me, or your father, or any shinobi guards I assign to look after you. Can you do that for me?"

Shinki nodded, eyes still wide, expression serious. Gaara drew him close and hugged him.

"Papa? Is Metal going to die?" It came out as barely a whisper, muffled by where Shinki had his face pressed to the curve of Gaara's shoulder.

The denial of the very idea was almost out of Gaara's mouth before he caught it and swallowed it back. He could not promise that, no matter how much he wanted to. Not to Shinki, or Lee or himself.

Instead his eyes narrowed and he pulled Shinki away from him far enough to look see if face. "Who told you that?"

"No one. But when Aya's father got injured on a mission he was in the hospital for a long time. She used to go visit him, with her mother but then he died. I don't want Metal to do die!" The last came out as a sob and he buried his face in Gaara's chest, shoulders shaking.

"Little one." Gaara stroked his back. "Listen to me. I can't promise you that Metal won't die, no one can. But your father and I will do everything in our power to make sure that doesn't happen, as will your uncle Kankurou and many other people. Metal is brave, and he is strong, and he will fight hard to survive. And you will need to be brave too over the coming days."

Against his chest he could feel Shinki nod.

"Now come on." Gaara stood and took Shinki's hand in his. "Let's go see if there are any of those rice balls your father made left over for dinner."

Later, after they'd eaten, Gaara would put Shinki to bed and go relieve Lee at the hospital so he could watch over Metal while Lee slept.

Then tomorrow, Kankurou would hopefully have some answers for them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is sex in this chapter starting at the third scene break. If you're not down with that you can skip that scene and not miss anything plot wise.

Three days. It had been three days since Metal had entered the hospital and there were still no answers for them.

The team from Konoha did arrive late on the third day though to everyone's relief.

Gaara called a meeting in the conference room where the Village Elders usually met.

Gaara, Lee, Baki, who had just returned from a diplomatic mission Gaara had sent him on, Kankurou, Captain Nakano, and the Konoha team.

All three members of the team looked as exhausted as they must have felt after running flat out for three days.But all three of them had agreed to come straight the meeting without bathing or sleeping first.

Temari had hugged him without formalities as soon as she'd seen him, her battle fan clanking against her armor as she did.

"We are going to find the bastards." She'd told him voice low and fierce.

Sakura Haruno and Tenten had been more formal in their greetings to him although both had hugged Lee.

"Lord Sixth sends his promise of support and any assistance you need." Sakura had told him. "I know he already wrote you but I thought I'd pass on the message anyway."

"Shikamaru wanted to come, but you hadn't specifically requested his presence so he stayed behind to look after Shikadai. He said though if you need him just send word to the Hokage." Temari said.

Sakura nodded. "If we end up needing extra help there are a lot of shinobi in the Hidden Leaf Village who would come here the minute you sent word.The only reason Naruto didn't come with us, request or no, is because he was out on a mission when your email arrived."

Lee had tears of gratitude in his eyes. Gaara inclined his head very low in a small bow. "Thank you. The friendship between our two villages continues to be a source of strength for Suna and brings much comfort to me personally."   

Sakura bowed back to him.

They all sat around the table with Gaara at the head.

He'd passed out a full report on the situation, as much as they knew at least, to the Konoha team and Baki before the meeting began.

"Since we have no new intelligence to report this meeting will mostly concern assigning each of us duties until the present crisis has passed." Gaara said. "Kankurou is already in charge of intelligence and tracking down as much information as possible about this attack. Where it came from and who is responsible. Temari will join him until such time as we have identified the people behind this. Also for the time being Lee has officially been placed in charge of guarding the children with Tenten and Captain Nakano to assist as needed. Sakura will form a team to study the possibility of a treatment or cure and help more clearly identify the type of jutsu at work. You may have any medical personnel in Suna you wish for this Sakura. When it comes to assembling your team and carrying out your mission your voice will be mine and you will speak with the power of the Kazekage."

To her credit, Sakura looked only slightly daunted by this as she nodded.

"Baki will assist me in securing Suna itself." Gaara went on. "I have been thinking about the reasons for this attack. Why target my child in such a way? While we cannot rule out the possibility that this is a personal revenge it is much more likely to be a diversionary tactic. Designed to distract me away from my duty to protect Suna by striking at those closest to me. Or to destabilize me enough mentally where most of Suna's resources would be directed at containing me rather than protecting the village."  It wasn't even an uncommon plan. Enemies of Suna had been trying to use his story of mental instability against him and his people since he'd first been named Kazekage. "We, of course, cannot allow them to succeed. So my top priority will be securing the village. I will leave the rest to you." He fixed each of the others at the table with a look he hoped conveyed exactly what he was entrusting them with.

Giving the ability to protect those dearest to him, even to Lee or his siblings, was still one of the hardest things he could do. Even now everything in him screamed to make protecting Metal and making those responsible for hurting him pay in blood his sole focus even at the expense of every other duty he had. He could not do that though it would be playing into his enemy's hands.

"When we know concrete details of who is responsible for this I will assemble a strike force of Lee, Temari, and Tenten to eliminate them. Sakura will become responsible for Metal's safety and treatment and Kankurou will join me in helping to secure the village until after the threat has passed. Understood?"

Everyone around the table nodded.

"Any questions?"

"Do we think this attack is likely to have been planned or carried out by another Hidden Village?" Temari asked.

There was a tense silence.

The shinobi world had been at peace since the Great War but if this was, as Gaara suspected, the first attack in some larger plan ...  

Kankurou cleared his throat. "We don't know. It could be but it also could be some independent faction trying to stir up trouble."

"Certainly I have no reason to believe any of the other great nations would attack us." Gaara said. "I am not ready to form a war council yet."

By the look on everyone's faces, they were all remembering the last war.

"Are there any other questions?" Gaara broke the mood and everyone shifted looking at each other.

Temari shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Then you are all dismissed to your duties." Gaara stood, gathering up his stack of papers as he did, everyone else stood and to file out. Kankurou and Baki, and Lee and Tenten were already in deep conversation planning their next moves.

"Temari, a word in my office." Gaara said before she could follow the others.

She nodded and followed him back to his office, where he shut the door behind both of them and settled himself at his desk.

"When I form the strike force the three of you will need to operate in secret." He said. "Other nations can not know that an attack against the Kazekage and his family succeeded in causing this level of harm even if it is ultimately unsuccessful."

"The strength of the Kazekage is the strength of Suna." It was an old saying, one their father had hammered into all three of them since they'd been children.

Gaara tipped his head in acknowledgment, even though he did not and never had agreed with it. He knew even in the face of his personal weakness or death Suna would stand strong. They'd weathered weak and even corrupt leaders before and he had faith his people could do it again. But in this instance at least the old saying was applicable.

"But I already knew that." She rested her hands on her hips watching him. "As does Lee and Tenten."  

"Yes." He clasped his hands together on his desk in front of him watching her back. "But what you do on this mission, how you eliminate this threat must also send a message. This cannot and will not be allowed to happen again."

Her eyes widened "And you don't think Lee -- "

"Lee will do his duty." Gaara cut her off. "He will protect our children, me and Suna with his last breath if need be. But Lee cannot do this and I would never ask him to."

They stared at each other and for the first time, Gaara felt uncertainty keep into his mind.

"I would do it myself but I can't leave. I'm needed here." he said, his voice dropping from that of the Fifth Kazekage to her little brother.

She held up a hand to stop him. "I know. I kept thinking all the way here what if it had been Shikadai. It could have been. If I had become Kazekage, not you." She looked away from him, hands fisting at her sides and drew in a long, shaky breath and when she looked back at him her eyes were steel. "I'll do it. People need to know there's a price for hurting a child of Suna."

"Thank you."

He owed his siblings so much. Once, years ago, Kankurou had explained to him that a debt to family wasn't something you _could_ repay. Which was probably good for Gaara, who otherwise would need several lifetimes just to make up for their childhood much less the rest of their lives after he'd stopped trying to kill them.

She shrugged. "It's my duty. I might be a shinobi of Konoha now but I am still the Fourth Kazekage's daughter and the Fifth Kazekage's sister. Suna is still where I was born, Suna is who I protect. My husband knows this, Lord Sixth knows this."

She saluted him, an elite jounin to her Lord.

He couldn't do anything less than accept it.  

~~~

Lee found him on the roof of the Wind Building late that night.

Gaara had taken off his formal Kazekage robes but still wore his shinobi uniform, including armor.

He was by the railing, arms folded, looking out across Suna but he turned away from the view when he heard Lee's step behind him.

"Any change?"

"No." Lee stopped beside him and leaned both hands on the railing, looking out over the city too. "Sakura has been working hard though. So maybe soon."

Gaara reached out and covered one of Lee's big hands with his.

"Do you really think there will be an attack against Suna?" Lee looked up at him.

"Very likely, if we can't stop it in time."

"Are you afraid that it is not a plot of attack the village? That it is an attack against you instead?"

Gaara met Lee's gaze surprised. This wasn't something even his sibling had guessed or Kankurou at least would have brought it up with him, but then Lee truly knew him better than anyone.

He took a step closer to Lee and then another. Lee straightened up and turned so he could open his arms to Gaara, let him press in close against Lee's strong body.

The night air was cool where it blew through his hair. Lee was warm and solid when he pressed his cheek to Lee's chest, rested his head there.

"I have killed so many people." He said voice flat, a statement of fact that not even Lee could argue against. "Many hundreds. Men, women, children, shinobi and civilians. The shinobi are one thing but as a child I killed for no reason. Cruel and useless deaths because I could, because they were weaker than me." For so long he'd felt an enormous amount of self-loathing because of that, which had lessened over time but it didn't change the reality of what he had done, nothing ever would.

Under his ear he could hear Lee's heartbeat, his slow, regular breath.

"I have often wondered what I would do if the family or loved one of someone I had killed came looking for revenge. Not as part of a coup or to destabilize Suna but against me personally for what I did. I have many things I want to live for: you, the children, Suna, my friends but part of me thinks they would be justified in taking that revenge, that maybe it would be right for me to allow it."

He heard Lee draw in breath to protest and Gaara pushed himself away enough to look straight up at Lee's gaze.

"Against me." He emphasized each word. "But not my family."

Lee's eyes were very dark and serious. "I would never, even for a moment, believe you would endanger the children for any reason. But you also need to know that if someone did seek revenge I would do everything I could to stop them. Your life is so precious to me Gaara." He pulled Gaara close against him again. "I know better than anyone what you were capable of but I also know you have not been that person for a very long time. My husband is an honorable and kind man. He is a powerful and respected shinobi who works hard every day to protect the people around him. And being married to him makes me very happy."

Gaara pulled away and smiled up at Lee, small and a little bit tentative.

"May I kiss you?" Lee's hands, still wrapped for training, slid against his face. Gaara nodded leaning forward to meet him halfway. Lee kissed him gently, careful but thorough before drawing away again.

"Let me take you home." He braiding their fingers together and Gaara let him.

~~~

Shinki was asleep when they arrived. Gaara stood in the doorway to his bedroom letting his gaze measure each rise and fall of Shinki's  small chest. Until Lee touched his shoulder, took his hand again and led Gaara to their own room.

Lee changed into his pajama pants the way he did every night. While Gaara didn't bother, just stripped off his clothes and lay down naked on top of the sheets.

Lee came back from the bathroom after brushing his teeth. There was enough moonlight streaming through the windows for Gaara to see the blush spread across his face when he saw Gaara. Even now, after all their years of marriage, he still blushed every time Gaara was naked for him.

Gaara held out his hand. Lee came to kneel on the bed beside him and take Gaara's hand between both of his. Sitting up Gaara leaned in close to Lee until he could feel Lee's breath against his own mouth. He brought his free hand up to stroke across the strong lines of Lee's chest, tracing scars, warm brown skin and a smattering of dark hair.

"Lee." Gaara tried to put how much he needed to be close to Lee into his voice, touching him, feeling his body against Lee's.

Lee pushed him back onto the bed gently as Gaara's hand spread across the hard, defined muscles of Lee's abdomen. Lee pressed his face to the curve of Gaara's throat, his mouth open against Gaara's skin as he breathed in his scent.

Gaara turned his own head until he could bury his face into Lee's silken hair. Lee smelled like sand and sweat, like beeswax and the mineral oils from the salve he used to rub into his scars and the small injuries he collected while training.

His body was heavy where his full weight rested against Gaara, solid and real. Gaara brought both hands up and pressed his fingers into the muscles of Lee's shoulders hard, harder than he ever would have with anyone else. Pressed until Lee gasped, hips moving in an ungraceful slide across Gaara's own.

Gaara moved his hands down Lee's back slowly, gripping, kneading, and pressed into the muscles there with his fingers. He let himself exert more and more force as he went, like unclenching a fist he'd held closed for too long.

Lee groaned helplessly against him, moved his hips in a stuttering rhythm. He could feel Lee hot and hard against his thigh, starting to leak enough to leave a wet mark on the cloth of his pajama pants.

They'd reached the point where Gaara was exerting his full strength now, knowing full well his fingers and grip were simply not strong enough to hurt Lee or even register as anything other than pleasurable to him. That in and of itself made his own breathing come fast, his hips rising to meet Lee's.

"Roll over and take off your pants." He said and Lee immediately moved to obey.

Gaara sat up to watch the flex of Lee's arms, the way the muscles of his stomach shifted as he lifted his hips to ease off his pajama pants.

His length sprang free, dark, thick and glistening at the tip.

Lee dropped the pants off the bed onto the floor and stretched one arm over his head resting the other lightly on his stomach.

It was as close as Lee ever got to purposefully provocative and Gaara gave himself a moment to admire the way Lee looked; all long lines, tightly coiled muscles, and a bright, happy smile.

Gaara smiled back and leaned forward to lightly kiss Lee before settle between his thighs. He gripped the muscles there as hard as he could, dug his fingers in until Lee was shaking under his hands. He roughly groped up the inside of Lee's thighs using all his strength to squeeze and massage the muscles there making Lee squirm, trying to press up against Gaara's hand and away at the same time.

Gaara slid his thumbs into the soft, fragile crease a top of Lee's thighs and mercilessly pressed until Lee actually arched off the bed crying out, his voice gone deep and hoarse.

He immediately clapped his hand over his mouth since there was a small child trying to sleep down the hall. It made Gaara snort with laughter and press a little harder just to watch Lee's eyes go wide.

Lee was so hard and ready, length pressed flat against his own stomach.

Gaara knew he could make Lee spill himself just from doing this but that wasn't what he wanted tonight.

His slid his hands up to encircle Lee, stroked him, gentling his touch as he did so. Still tighter and harder than he would have ever liked someone to touch him but that was what Lee preferred. Lee was making whining, whimpering noises into the hand still pressed to his mouth.

Gaara kept his movements purposefully slow, dragging it out, making Lee wait for it, want and feel with every inch of his body until he was shaking again, toes curls against the bed. Only then did he come apart, spilling across Gaara's hand.

Lee laid still, chest heaving, body limp for about a minute. Then he rolled over and tackled Gaara flat, kissing him hard and thorough all nipping teeth and wet open mouths. He grinned at Gaara when they broke apart and slid down Gaara's body to take him into Lee's mouth.

Gaara pushed himself up on an elbow to watch Lee's head move between his thighs. Lee was sloppy and enthusiastic without much rhythm or finesse but frankly, Gaara preferred it like that. He enjoyed how eager and wanting Lee was. Hot mouth working over him, his throat relaxing and opening to take him all the way down.

Gaara came fast and hard, gripping onto the sheets to keep himself from grabbing hands fulls of Lee's soft hair.

Lee curled up around him after, face pressed into the crook of Gaara's neck.

Gaara had begun to come down out of that happy place where his husband's body and scent were the only things that mattered and back to reality.

He stared at the ceiling wondering if he was going to be able to sleep.

Lee always fell asleep almost immediately after sex. He couldn't help it, it was the way his body was and Gaara didn't blame him for it.

He waited until Lee's breathing indicated deep sleep then gently moved Lee's arm and climbed out of bed.

He dressed, silently in the dark, collected the gourd from where he'd left it in his office when they'd first arrived home.

Then he left the Residence, heading towards the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really meant this chapter to be mostly plot but it ended up being feelings and sex instead. Next chapter will have plot I promise.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't even thought about Naruto in 7+ years but a few weeks ago I made the mistake of watching the first episode of Boruto: Naruto Next Generations. Now I'm in kid fic hell and I'm obviously going to inflict it on all of you.


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